I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
