Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
