Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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