yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
handjob tips. give me some.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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