Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
