Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
