Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
