I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
