so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
