I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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