Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
