This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
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