Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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