If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
