I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
where does the pee come out of this thing
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
