he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
