Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
