I'm jealous of your bromance
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
