Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
