I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
