u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
