you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
