so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
