I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
