Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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