so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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