Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just google imaged poop.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
