Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
And then my night got REAL pukey
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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