I'm drive I can fine osifer
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
