and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
How's work?
Spinning.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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