Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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