Swine flu is the new snow day.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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