Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
