Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If that was your dad, he is hot
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
