JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Randomize
