i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
