1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
