I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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