We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
