nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You pole danced in your parka.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
