Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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