forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
