look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
