Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
