Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
