it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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