I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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