This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
