she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
