i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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