I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
