I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
