So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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