i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
